The Evil Genius Online Manifesto Vol. 3

It’s really starting to feel a lot like winter now, isn’t it? I was thinking this to myself the other morning whilst scraping a thick sheet of ice off my car windscreen as the sorry tale of England getting thrashed by the Australians in the cricket played out on the radio. Naturally, I found myself wondering if veteran Evil Genius Maximilian would accept this kind of woeful performance from his Minions.

Of course he wouldn’t! Which is why crafting missions based around him for Evil Genius Online is so much fun.

One of the considerations we had as a team right at the beginning of the EGO project was whether we should use the original Evil Genius game’s characters, and if so how we would present them to the player. We decided pretty quickly that they were all really rich characters who could add plenty to the game’s narrative, and hence we set about fleshing them out a little. Max seemed ideal as a blustering, old-school type character who has been there, seen it and probably done it as well, whilst Alexis came across nicely as a rich, sophisticated menace to global security.

Between the two of them John Steele won’t know what’s hit him, especially as they’re working in conjunction with the world’s latest and greatest Evil Genius (that’s you, in case you were wondering).

The other aspect of EGO that I was reminded of by the wintery frost on my windscreen was the amount of cool little festive surprises we’ve got ready to set loose on the game once December rolls in (spray can of de-icer and cheap plastic scraping tool not included in that lot, don’t worry). We’ve given players’ lairs a frosty overhaul, with the usual dark crevices and granite replaced by a rather snazzy snow and ice appearance.

On top of this, we’ve added in some season-specific pieces of junk to look out for. Whilst an Evil Genius will normally have to order their Minions to vacuum up the occasional scattering of papers, rubble and rubbish, during the upcoming month chances are there’ll be suspicious piles of presents, wrapping paper, cameras disguised as puddings and even the odd eggnog spillage here and there. I’ve never drunk eggnog myself, but have been reliably informed that I am really not missing out on much.

Those Evil Geniuses who like to coerce their Minions into being more Obedient have been catered for too, with plenty of items that can be placed in the Lair to give your slacking workforce the false sense of security only the festive season can bring. For example, there’s a rather impressive-looking Festive Carvery on offer that’ll give your Minions the impression that they’re having a seasonal meal of extremely high quality. Of course this isn’t actually the case; you’re still feeding them exactly the same questionable and cheap meat you always have in the knowledge that they’re so dim-witted that they’ll never actually notice. That’s just one example out of a selection of new items we will be making available.

Lastly, there’s a rather festive-themed mission series that players can undertake throughout the month to unlock a particularly symbolic piece of loot for placing in their lair. Just when you thought that John Steele and his SABRE agency couldn’t slide any lower in their quest to brainwash the public in the favour of the forces of good, what you will uncover throughout the series’ progression is conspiracy on a scale possibly unsurpassed!

You can’t possibly let them get away with such a scheme, right? Can you imagine how smug John Steele would be if 2014 ticks around and SABRE’s greatest plan has gone another year undiscovered? Time to show the good guys that, rather like ice on a windscreen, they’re only a temporary threat that can be easily scraped away any time they appear. Consider it your gift to the world of evil!


Penny Foxworth


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